Positive thoughts

“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.”

 

One of the things that often comes with infertility is a sense of envy, jealousy or asking "why not me?" when someone announces they're pregnant. It's something I've definitely struggled with throughout this whole journey. I'm not proud to say that I've had those negative thoughts and judgments about people that I didn't feel were ready or fit to be parents. I realize now that's a normal process that we often go through when grieving over something we aren't able to make happen. 

 

Today I found out about another friend who is expecting and my first emotion was anger, but then quickly did some processing and realized that I don't have a reason to be angry or envious because my day is coming. Yes, there are lots of people who are able to conceive naturally without trying that hard, but is that something I should hold against them just because I can't?? Of course not. So, I sent a text congratulating her and accepting her invitation to hang out soon. I am realizing that the negativity will not get me anywhere and will likely eat away at me like a disease. So, I'm done with it. Life isn't always fair, but you have to work with what you've got. I'm lucky enough to be able to utilize the medical technology we have today. There are many that can't say that, so I need to be grateful and keep my eye on the goal of becoming a mommy! May 27th is our first consultation with our fertility doctor at ORM. I'm so excited and hoping we'll get a plan for moving forward with treatment for the summer! I was referred to this doctor by a woman in Portland that I've been talking to on a message board. She said some amazing things about her and she's now pregnant with twins!