Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Tomorrow is the day
I can't believe that tomorrow we find out if we are going to be parents. I am a ball of emotions today. It's been a long road, but I really feel like today has been the hardest. I have so many thoughts going through my head. I've been staying strong and positive throughout this journey and today I feel so mixed up. I want to believe that it worked and there's a baby (or 2) growing inside of me right now, but I'm so scared to be disappointed. I'm also scared about disappointing others. I know that regardless, my friends and family will be supportive, but I know how badly others are wanting this to happen for us. I've only cried 3 times during this process: the 1st was the day we took the injection class because it hit me that this was our path, the 2nd was the day of transfer when I realized I had 2 perfect embryos inside me finally, and the 3rd was today. It might sounds silly but I watched a Pampers commercial that talked about different ways babies are brought into this world and they showed IVF. I lost it. I just kept thinking about how badly I want this and how hard J and I have worked to have a child. This has got to be it, right?? With just about everything else in life, you work hard enough for it and most of the time you get it eventually. My heart tells me that this is my time to be a mom, but my mind says "Not so quick. There are no guarantees that it worked." I just need to get through these next 24 hours...that's it...but it seems so daunting. It's the unknown that always gets me.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Home stretch
As I am typing this there are cells growing in a petri dish 10 miles away that could result in beautiful babies...part J and part me. That is some crazy stuff to think about! I can't stop thinking about it...my future babies are growing right this second!
Thursday morning J and I went into ORM for my retrieval procedure. Things went better than I expected. They told us that 13 eggs were retrieved that day, but is about average for someone my age. Most of that day I just kind of hung out at home and recovered. There wasn't a lot of pain, just some minor discomfort. The next morning we got a call saying that out of the 13 eggs they retrieved, 10 of them were mature, and 8 of those fertilized. They told us that they're hoping that at least half of them will continue to grow to day 5 (and become blastocysts) at which time 2 will be transferred to my uterus and those left will be frozen in case we want to try for more babies in the future.
The last couple days leading up to the retrieval were pretty uncomfortable. I was more bloated than I've ever been in my life and I could literally feel my swollen ovaries inside me. Yesterday (day after retrieval) was the first day I've felt "normal" again, which I'm really happy about because I was told it would take awhile for the swelling to go down. J and I have been off since Thursday and we're just basking in the happiness that we've finally merged ourselves. Haha! Sounds funny, but it's been a long road of waiting for this moment of knowing we've conceived a child...and we've conceived 8!! Maybe I should put them all in and be the next Octomom?? No thanks!
I think the next step is that we'll receive a phone call Monday or Tuesday telling us how many are still growing. Tuesday at 12:45 we go in for the transfer. I'm being an acupuncturist to do a treatment on me before and after the transfer (apparently it helps with blood flow to the uterus and implantation success). I'll be on bed rest Tuesday and Wednesday, trying to keep myself busy with lots of funny movies, good reading, and tons of positive vibes to the babies to keep growing and "hunker down" for a the next 9 months. J will be at my beckon call, which he's great at anyway. After that it's back to work and I'll be trying to keep myself really busy and my mind occupied until the 13th when I go in for my blood work to find out if I'm pregnant!
I working hard to not let any negativity seep into my mind, which can be hard at times. I have so much faith that this our time, but I also know that no matter what happens...we'll be alright and keep working towards our dream.
Thursday morning J and I went into ORM for my retrieval procedure. Things went better than I expected. They told us that 13 eggs were retrieved that day, but is about average for someone my age. Most of that day I just kind of hung out at home and recovered. There wasn't a lot of pain, just some minor discomfort. The next morning we got a call saying that out of the 13 eggs they retrieved, 10 of them were mature, and 8 of those fertilized. They told us that they're hoping that at least half of them will continue to grow to day 5 (and become blastocysts) at which time 2 will be transferred to my uterus and those left will be frozen in case we want to try for more babies in the future.
The last couple days leading up to the retrieval were pretty uncomfortable. I was more bloated than I've ever been in my life and I could literally feel my swollen ovaries inside me. Yesterday (day after retrieval) was the first day I've felt "normal" again, which I'm really happy about because I was told it would take awhile for the swelling to go down. J and I have been off since Thursday and we're just basking in the happiness that we've finally merged ourselves. Haha! Sounds funny, but it's been a long road of waiting for this moment of knowing we've conceived a child...and we've conceived 8!! Maybe I should put them all in and be the next Octomom?? No thanks!
I think the next step is that we'll receive a phone call Monday or Tuesday telling us how many are still growing. Tuesday at 12:45 we go in for the transfer. I'm being an acupuncturist to do a treatment on me before and after the transfer (apparently it helps with blood flow to the uterus and implantation success). I'll be on bed rest Tuesday and Wednesday, trying to keep myself busy with lots of funny movies, good reading, and tons of positive vibes to the babies to keep growing and "hunker down" for a the next 9 months. J will be at my beckon call, which he's great at anyway. After that it's back to work and I'll be trying to keep myself really busy and my mind occupied until the 13th when I go in for my blood work to find out if I'm pregnant!
I working hard to not let any negativity seep into my mind, which can be hard at times. I have so much faith that this our time, but I also know that no matter what happens...we'll be alright and keep working towards our dream.
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