Tomorrow is the day

I can't believe that tomorrow we find out if we are going to be parents. I am a ball of emotions today. It's been a long road, but I really feel like today has been the hardest. I have so many thoughts going through my head. I've been staying strong and positive throughout this journey and today I feel so mixed up. I want to believe that it worked and there's a baby (or 2) growing inside of me right now, but I'm so scared to be disappointed. I'm also scared about disappointing others. I know that regardless, my friends and family will be supportive, but I know how badly others are wanting this to happen for us. I've only cried 3 times during this process: the 1st was the day we took the injection class because it hit me that this was our path, the 2nd was the day of transfer when I realized I had 2 perfect embryos inside me finally, and the 3rd was today. It might sounds silly but I watched a Pampers commercial that talked about different ways babies are brought into this world and they showed IVF. I lost it. I just kept thinking about how badly I want this and how hard J and I have worked to have a child. This has got to be it, right?? With just about everything else in life, you work hard enough for it and most of the time you get it eventually. My heart tells me that this is my time to be a mom, but my mind says "Not so quick. There are no guarantees that it worked." I just need to get through these next 24 hours...that's it...but it seems so daunting. It's the unknown that always gets me. 

Home stretch

As I am typing this there are cells growing in a petri dish 10 miles away that could result in beautiful babies...part J and part me. That is some crazy stuff to think about! I can't stop thinking about it...my future babies are growing right this second!

Thursday morning J and I went into ORM for my retrieval procedure. Things went better than I expected. They told us that 13 eggs were retrieved that day, but is about average for someone my age. Most of that day I just kind of hung out at home and recovered. There wasn't a lot of pain, just some minor discomfort. The next morning we got a call saying that out of the 13 eggs they retrieved, 10 of them were mature, and 8 of those fertilized. They told us that they're hoping that at least half of them will continue to grow to day 5 (and become blastocysts) at which time 2 will be transferred to my uterus and those left will be frozen in case we want to try for more babies in the future.

The last couple days leading up to the retrieval were pretty uncomfortable. I was more bloated than I've ever been in my life and I could literally feel my swollen ovaries inside me. Yesterday (day after retrieval) was the first day I've felt "normal" again, which I'm really happy about because I was told it would take awhile for the swelling to go down. J and I have been off since Thursday and we're just basking in the happiness that we've finally merged ourselves. Haha! Sounds funny, but it's been a long road of waiting for this moment of knowing we've conceived a child...and we've conceived 8!! Maybe I should put them all in and be the next Octomom?? No thanks!

I think the next step is that we'll receive a phone call Monday or Tuesday telling us how many are still growing. Tuesday at 12:45 we go in for the transfer. I'm being an acupuncturist to do a treatment on me before and after the transfer (apparently it helps with blood flow to the uterus and implantation success). I'll be on bed rest Tuesday and Wednesday, trying to keep myself busy with lots of funny movies, good reading, and tons of positive vibes to the babies to keep growing and "hunker down" for a the next 9 months. J will be at my beckon call, which he's great at anyway. After that it's back to work and I'll be trying to keep myself really busy and my mind occupied until the 13th when I go in for my blood work to find out if I'm pregnant!

I working hard to not let any negativity seep into my mind, which can be hard at times. I have so much faith that this our time, but I also know that no matter what happens...we'll be alright and keep working towards our dream.

Just call me Pin cushion

As the title of this post states, I'm feeling a little...ok, a lot like a pin cushion right now. Currently I'm doing 3 shots a day (booty, thigh and belly), getting blood drawn every other day, and doing acupuncture once a week. Everything considered I have to say it's really not that bad. Luckily I'm not scared of needles but it was a little nerve racking the first time I realized this needed to go in me:

J gets to jab me with this every morning

I've been taking what they call "stims" (injections that stimulate my ovaries to grow multiple eggs) for 6 days now. The Dr. says everything's progressing as it should and I will likely be doing a trigger shot on Tues or Wed that makes me ovulate within 40 hours then 35hours after the shot I'll be going in for my egg retrieval procedure (Thurs or Fri). They'll fertilize as many mature eggs as they get and 5 days later (Oct. 4th or 5th), I'll have 2 embryos transferred into me. Then the waiting game continues for 9 days before I go in for my pregnancy blood test.

I'm still in disbelief that I might be pregnant in 10 days...CRAZY! I've gotten so much support from friends, family and women I've been talking to on infertility message boards. I'm definitely one lucky woman to have support around me, especially J. He's truly my rock right now. I've been staying positive and hopeful that this is going to work for us. I feel that I'm meant to be a mom and this is my time! I've been doing a lot of positive affirmations to make a habit out of thinking positively and pushing all though negative thoughts and doubts out of my mind. 

I'll definitely be updating later this week as I'm recovering from my procedure. Until then, I'm chanting "Grow, eggies, grow!" =)

This is the month!

It's been a while since I've updated and I realized quite a bit has been going on for me that I should write about. First of all, our last month of trying to conceive naturally didn't work out in our favor, but that's fine. Sad to say I'm kind of use to it at this point. So, we're working further towards getting this baby in a more scientific way with lotsa money and lotsa meds!

In the last month, J and I have gone to two informational classes at ORM. The first one was a couple hours going through exactly what to expect from the IVF process. I knew a lot of what they covered, but it was nice to have them review it and go into a little more depth. The second class covered injections and I got to practice on a little fake piece of skin. I have to admit it was a little overwhelming. I held it together for the class but afterward I sort of lost it. I think it all just hit me at once that we were really doing this. I threw a pity party for a bit but by the time we got home, I was fine. It definitely helped that my mom knew just when to call me to make me feel better.

A couple weeks ago I went and picked up all my medications. Ummm, yeah, pretty hefty stuff. The total cost was about $7000, but I got a bunch of discounts and stuff so it came to $4300. Still a ton of money for them. Here's what I'll be taking this month (and some will be for early pregnancy):

So where we're at right now is that I've been taking birth control pills since August 21st and will take my last one tomorrow. This Monday I started my first set of shots called Lupron, which are really no big deal because they're so tiny. The birth control pills and Lupron are supposed to suppress everything so that my ovaries basically are starting from ground zero when I start stimulating them (which starts on the 17th). Hopefully everything will stay according to my calendar (fingers crossed) and we'll be having the actually procedures at the end of the month! I keep thinking "I could be pregnant a month from now..." So weird, but amazing!!!

I'll try to update more often from now on since things are going to be happening weekly. One thing I forgot to mention is that I started acupuncture, which I LOVE! MY acupuncturist specializes in fertility so she'll be there at the clinic on the day of the embryo transfer to do a treatment before and after. Studies have shown that acupuncture can help with blood flow which is important when implantation happens. Not only is she helping with that, but alleviating headaches, allergies and stress too. She's amazing and she's my doctor's acupuncturist, so that makes me feel like I'm in good hands too. 

Now it's time to finish the work week so I can go spend some relaxing time with J and Koda in the woods. Really looking forward to this "getaway" before all the craziness of numerous shots and doctors appointments happens!

Gaining momentum...

I thought it was funny that when I met with my nurse yesterday she used some analogy about us being on the home stretch and I'm thinking "We just started!" Haha!

The past two days have been FILLED with testing. Not to get too graphic, but I have been poked, prodded, you name it! Seriously starting to feel like a science experiment here and I haven't even started the injections yet. Yesterday was great though. J came with me to ORM and I had my last testing procedures done there to make sure my uterus was fine and that there won't be any issues implanting the embryos when it comes time for that. We were able to talk with the the nurse and received our IVF calendar (which is seriously like the golden ticket). It's very exciting to be able to look at an actual piece of paper that maps out when everything will take place, what medications I'll be on when, and most importantly, when I'll be getting pregnant!

This is kind of the run down according to my calendar (assuming that things are crazy with my cycle again):

Now-Aug 23: Relaxing and preparing for everything, attending a couple informational classes about IVF

Aug 23-Sept 16: Take birth control pills to suppress/calm everything

Sept 16 - Sept 26ish: Daily injections to stimulate multiple eggs to mature

Around Sept 26: Egg retrieval (hopefully they get lots) and fertilization

Around Oct 1: Egg transfer/two days bed rest, lots of positive thinking and prayers =)

Around Oct 10: Pregnancy test!!!!!!!!

So...this is officially our last month to get pregnant naturally. You know what that means...BOW CHICKA WOW WOW! Haha!

It's go time!

I feel like I've been waiting for so long to start this IVF journey and it's finally here! It's kinda surreal actually that, if everything goes well, I could be pregnant by mid-October!!

So, the week started off pretty rough. I had been (impatiently) waiting for my period to arrive over the weekend (day 1 I was supposed to call and schedule testing for day 3)...and it's usually pretty predictable, so when I didn't start on time I was a little worried/nervous/frustrated. I was spotting for about 3 days when I decided to call the clinic and let them know what was going on. I was really worried that, for whatever reason, this would be my period and I would miss it and have to start the IVF process next month. The nurse told me to take a pregnancy test to see if by chance I was pregnant (I guess crazier things have happened), so I did and of course it was negative. She decided to have me come in and see if we could at least determine if I had started or not and what was going on, so that we don't miss our opportunity. I went in about an hour later and did an ultrasound (to look at my uterus lining and follicles) and some blood work (including a beta pregnancy test). I got a call later that afternoon from the clinic saying that I hadn't even started my period yet, so I needed to wait for a heavier flow and call them. The really frustrating part is that I basically spent $500 for all that testing, just to be told that my period hasn't started. Grrr! After a little bit of fuming, I decided that I needed to get over it and move on because these next few months are probably going to be filled with things I can't control. The more positive and optimistic I can stay, the better the outcome.

That was all on Tuesday, so the next day I get somewhat of a regular flow and call the clinic back to schedule the testing to be redone on Friday. Went in on Friday and had the exact same tests (minus the pregnancy test) and was able talk with my Dr. for a bit about the ultrasound findings. She said that she saw 9 follicles, which basically means that if I were to take the hormones now to mature them, I would hopefully get 9 eggs to be fertilized. I'm not starting hormones for another 8 weeks or so, but she was just explaining how the more follicles present, the better our chances of getting the most eggs retrieved, fertilized, and even though only 2 are going back in me...we would freeze and be able to meet the other ones later on. With all that being said, she basically said that I have less follicles that she would like to see in someone my age, but that it can defer month to month, so hopefully this is just an "off" month for me. I was able to sit down and talk with my nurse (she is amazing!) who answered a lot of "what next" questions...and her answer was more testing, testing, testing. So I go back next Thursday for more testing! Woo hoo! Probably right about the next time I go in I'll be able to get a calendar of exactly what my IVF schedule will be based on the medications I have to take and all that. Friday afternoon I got the results from my blood work, which the nurse said were perfect! They were testing to see what my level of hormone is for  being able to mature follicles, so that I have the best potential to get as many eggs as possible. So, that's great news!

Yeah, so lots of stuff going on and I'm so ready for the craziness that will be my life over the next 8-10 weeks. The end result will make all this testing, money spending, frustration, etc. not even matter anymore.  Can't wait to be able to say "I'm pregnant!!!!!" =D

Beautiful words

I found this poem on an infertility message board that really struck me and I had to share...

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

"There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother."

I got a little emotional reading this poem because so many pieces of it are words that I have been thinking and saying for a while now. It's unfortunate that J and I have to go through all this to achieve something that others barely have to work to attain, but I know it will make us more grateful, caring and aware/appreciative of the smaller things in life.

Correction

Our nurse from ORM called me yesterday just to see if I had any questions about the semen analysis and when I asked for clarification of the results she told me that we still need to do ICSI but won't have to do a biopsy. J swears the Dr. said no ICSI but I guess there was a misunderstanding. So, the news isn't as great as I thought, but it's still better than things were before. Not having the biopsy is going to have J a lot of pain and us a good chunk of change still. By the way, I really love our nurse! She's super informative and sweet. So far I'm really glad that we chose ORM because all the people we've met there are amazing.

Unexpected news!

It's great to be actually able to talk about unexpected, good news. J went in yesterday for his 3rd semen analysis and got his results back super quick. The doctor called and told him that according to his results, she doesn't think it will be necessary to do a biopsy to retrieve sperm or an ICSI (directing injecting sperm into the egg) because he had enough viable sperm in his sample. This is HUGE because we'll now be saving up to $3,000 since we won't have to do those two procedures. In a way it makes it feel like the IVF will be more "natural" because J's sperm will be fertilizing my eggs on their own (even if it's still in a petri dish haha). So, it sounds like she wants him to come back for another sample to freeze (yesterday's was frozen) and then when it comes closer to egg retrieval/fertilization time (probably mid Sept), he'll give a fresh sample and the other two will be back ups.

This news really brought my spirits up and gave me even more hope that things are going to work out for us. Two more weeks until I start my blood work and ultrasounds to get things going. I just need to stay on track for losing weight and staying healthy!

This is the month!

It's been a while since I've updated my blog, so I thought I'd say a little something about what's been going on...which hasn't been a whole lot. Over the last month I've just been focusing on changing my eating habits and being more active, which is going really well! I've lost about 10-15lbs since the Dr. consultation. At first I was doing this really restrictive diet, which helped me lose weight quickly, but didn't allow me to have energy to exercise and made me pretty unhappy. So, I started back up with Weight Watchers and it's made a big difference in my mood and energy level.

As of yesterday I have my medical insurance reinstated, so when I start my cycle at the end of the month I'll be ready to start testing for IVF! I'm really hoping I can lose 5lbs each month for the next few months that I'm going through testing and treatment. It definitely helps that the weather's been so nice here in Portland. It motivates me to get out of the house, take walks and get pictures like this:

Or to enjoy the smaller things in life, like this:

I'm mostly just taking care of me and preparing myself for the months ahead. I'm not so much anxious or nervous as I am excited and ready. I've been talking to other women going through IVF this summer and it gives me so much hope and inspiration to hear how others are being so strong and some have even finished the process and are now pregnant.  I'm so ready for that to me!

ORM appointment

Yesterday, J and I finally had our initial consultation at ORM and I'm happy to say that it went really well! I absolutely love our doctor (Dr. Elizabeth Barbieri). I was referred to her by someone and I can see why she loved her so much. I have to say that a lot of the consult was a review for me since I've been researching IVF like crazy for the past few months. I asked her about how my high BMI would affect our success rates (which I already knew the answer to, but I wanted to hear it from her). She told me that chances can be 30% lower if an IVF patient is overweight. She was very caring and sweet about it, but basically told me that to increase my odds of conceiving, having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby, I should lose 20-30lbs. Luckily, I had been preparing myself for this for a while so I wasn't shocked or anything.

Here's the time line she gave us:
1st month of treatment (will start at the end of July): testing phase
2nd month of treatment: Prep phase
3rd month of treatment: Egg retrieval/implantation & hopefully a positive pregnancy test by October!!

So, that gives me a total of 4 months before I would be pregnant...4 months to lose 20-30lbs! I know I can do it. This is the biggest motivation for me ever and I don't even look at it as an option to not lose the weight. That means as of right now my mindset has changed from waiting for answers and a plan to ...OPERATION: GETTING FIT TO GET FAT! Haha!

One more week...

...until we finally see our doctor at the fertility clinic to find out when we can get this show on the road!!! I've been feeling incredibly positive, hopeful, and anxious for this day to come. One thing I've been worrying about for a while is whether or not the doctor will suggest that I lose weight before starting IVF. So, I've decided to be proactive and start a new diet to lose a little weight before we even go. If she suggests that I lose more, I'll keep at it as long as I need. I've been doing it a little less than a week and I've lost quite a bit already!

Some great news that I haven't mentioned yet is that about a week and a half ago we found out J's blood test results for Cystic Fibrosis and it was NEGATIVE!! He does not have it and is not a carrier! We're really happy because we now we don't have to worry about me getting tested or our babies being at risk. At the same time, we still don't have a clear explanation about the reason for the missing seminal vesicle. We're thinking it may just be a birth defect.

Something really interesting (and kind of creepy) that happened last week was that J told me a co worker that knows he's married, but doesn't know we're moving towards IVF (or even that we've been trying to conceive), told him that she had a dream about us and we had 2 babies (!!!). She didn't say twins, but she said we were putting two infant car seats in an SUV. Isn't that crazy?!?! Of course I got all excited hoping that this woman is psychic or something. Please be a premonition!

Mother's Day

For the past couple years mother's day has been difficult because of wanting to be a mother so badly. Today was different for so many reasons. First of all, after training for several months, I completed my first 5k run since I was in high school. I decided to do this because I feel like I'm usually the type of person that starts lots of new things but has a difficult time finishing, especially when it comes to fitness and nutrition. I committed myself to the 5k because I knew it was something I could do if I stuck with it. I needed to prove that I don't always give up on myself. Well, after starting out the race a little rough (uphill most of the first mile was brutal), I finished out strong and came in under the time I had expected. The most amazing part was how accomplished and proud of myself I felt. During the race I kept thinking about my future babies and how I want to be a good example for them and I want to be healthy for them. I was also thinking about my mom and how determined she's always been in her life. I've always despised running, but who knows, maybe I'll become a runner after all!

Three more weeks until we go to the doctor to figure out our IVF time frame! I'm nervous and excited. This is what we've been waiting for, but I still have this thought in the back of my mind that something's going to go wrong or something unexpected will come up and deter everything. It sounds pessimistic but that's how our lives have been for a while now. We work so hard for what we want and then life happens and says "Not so fast!" Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball to see what our future looks like. What's the outcome of all this going to be? But I guess that's the fun of life...never knowing what's around the corner.

Positive thoughts

“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.”

 

One of the things that often comes with infertility is a sense of envy, jealousy or asking "why not me?" when someone announces they're pregnant. It's something I've definitely struggled with throughout this whole journey. I'm not proud to say that I've had those negative thoughts and judgments about people that I didn't feel were ready or fit to be parents. I realize now that's a normal process that we often go through when grieving over something we aren't able to make happen. 

 

Today I found out about another friend who is expecting and my first emotion was anger, but then quickly did some processing and realized that I don't have a reason to be angry or envious because my day is coming. Yes, there are lots of people who are able to conceive naturally without trying that hard, but is that something I should hold against them just because I can't?? Of course not. So, I sent a text congratulating her and accepting her invitation to hang out soon. I am realizing that the negativity will not get me anywhere and will likely eat away at me like a disease. So, I'm done with it. Life isn't always fair, but you have to work with what you've got. I'm lucky enough to be able to utilize the medical technology we have today. There are many that can't say that, so I need to be grateful and keep my eye on the goal of becoming a mommy! May 27th is our first consultation with our fertility doctor at ORM. I'm so excited and hoping we'll get a plan for moving forward with treatment for the summer! I was referred to this doctor by a woman in Portland that I've been talking to on a message board. She said some amazing things about her and she's now pregnant with twins!

Love this video...

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/41755675#41755675

 I love hearing about stories like this! It brought me a lot of hope today and has motivated me to join the RESOLVE infertility support group that meets monthly. 

IVF it is!

This week I emailed the urologist with a bunch of questions because there was some confusion about his recommendations after J's ultrasound. He wrote me back, pretty bluntly stating that IUI (intrauterine insemination) would not be an option for us and IVF is definitely recommended. So, there's no way to get around it. Unless some miracle happens and we conceive naturally, which is pretty unlikely, we'll be heading down the IVF route. I was pretty sure this would be the case, so I'm not really surprised. I guess I just had a little hope that he would say IUI would be possible because it's so much cheaper, less time consuming and less invasive on my body.

 Egg being fertilized with a single sperm (ICSI procedure)

Last night J and I attended a seminar at Oregon Reproductive Medicine, which is one of the fertility clinics in Portland. Apparently they're one of the best in the country with one of the highest success rates (72.5%), so we definitely wanted to see what they were all about. Another option for us is to stick with OHSU, which is where J's been going for his urology stuff. We'll have to do more research about them though. One thing we're very sure of is that it's going to be EXPENSIVE. At the seminar they were saying about $17,000 per cycle! That's including everything (tests, ultrasounds, medications, etc.). We've already gotten a lot of the required tests done and I'm hoping insurance would be able to cover even a portion of the treatments, but most insurances in Oregon don't cover fertility treatments. I think the best part of the seminar was being in a room with other people that I knew were going through similar things as us. Infertility is such a taboo topic and most people feel uncomfortable talking openly about it. Hearing others share their struggles and asking questions about what their options are really put me at ease...because I didn't feel alone anymore.

So, I guess "the plan" is for J to get blood work done (to test for cystic fibrosis) and a biopsy so they can retrieve and freeze sperm. Meanwhile, we'll need to come up with a way to pay for this baby! We've saved quite a bit, but we joke about standing outside with signs that say "Need $$ for test tube baby!" Haha!! I wonder how many people would help?? Seriously, if people give to those that have signs that say "Why lie? I need a beer!" or "Ninjas kidnapped my parents. Need $$ for kung fu lessons." then why wouldn't they give to us?

Anyway, I'm trying not to get ahead of myself but I have a tentative date of hopefully starting the treatment in July or August since my insurance doesn't kick back in until July 1st. Treatment takes about 10 weeks, so that would be great to be pregnant by mid September. That would mean a baby by June 2012!!

Feeling hopeful

Today I'm feeling hopeful and trying to make it last. A couple different reasons why: J and I have been doing a lot of talking lately and, despite being told by the urologist that we will likely not be able to conceive naturally, we're not going to just give up on it. "It takes just one." That's what J said last night. Also, after talking to a dear friend of my mine who was told the same thing and is now expecting a baby girl, who was conceived naturally, I'm seeing that it's real. I also go on fertility message boards and hear of women who have tried IVF or are about and conceive naturally. My attitude right now is let's keep trying hard to have this baby naturally, but if it comes down to it, we'll do whatever it takes to conceive - whether it's assisted reproduction or not. I've already told myself "This is my year to get pregnant!" In the meantime, I'm signing up to attend an infertility support group though RESOLVE (www.resolve.com) and a seminar at Oregon Reproductive Medicine (www.oregonreproductivemedicine.com) to get more information about our options. I'm also going to turn into a total "bug-a-boo" and call the doctor until I find out how I can get some answers out of him regarding the ultrasound results and his recommendations.

 

It's amazing that through this, J and I have gotten so much stronger and continue to remain connected because it really does take a toll on a couple. I remain understanding and non-blaming because this isn't his issue, it's OURS and we'll get through it together. Everyday we want this baby more and more and we're gonna make it happen.

Dealing with MFI...

So, I finally decided to start a blog about my journey to mommyhood! I guess the main reason is that I felt like I needed a way to get my thoughts out before I drive myself crazy. People struggling with infertility know that you can sometimes tell people close to you about what's going on, but they don't fully get it unless they've been there. You could probably say that about most circumstances. Another reason for doing this is that I felt the need to educate people about MFI (male factor infertility) based on what I've gone through because it seems that when a couple struggles to get pregnant, people automatically assume it's the women. Truth is, women and men have equal chances of infertility issues. I also am hoping to get some advice and support from others who have gone through fertility treatments themselves.

It would probably be helpful to give a little summary or timeline of my journey so far:

February 2009 - Married the love of my life and although we had decided to wait a few months to start trying for a family, we quickly changed our minds and started right away!

(2009 was a very stressful, intense year with us getting married, trying to conceive, almost losing my little brother in a car accident, stress at work, and then the death of my biological dad)

June 2010 - After 16 months of trying with no luck, I decided to get myself checked out (bloodwork, HSG, pap test all came back normal) and it was suggested that J get checked.

July 2010 - J's first semen analysis came back abnormally low and we were told "No normal sperm were detected". It was suggested that we see a urologist.

February 2011 - After several months of nagging, he finally went in for his 2nd analysis and results were similar to the 1st (less than 100,000 sperm detected). Suggested that he get hormonal blood work, which he did and it came back normal. Suggested that he get a prostate ultrasound.

March 2011 - Prostate ultrasound showed that his prostate was fine, but he was born without a left seminal vesicle, may be a carrier for cystic fibrosis and we would likely have to do IVF in order to have a baby of our own.

So, that's pretty much where we are now. The urologist has suggested that J get a blood test to check to see if he is a CF carrier and then they could do a biopsy of his testicle to see if sperm can be removed and frozen for IVF. We've been trying to get a hold of the medical assistant all week to schedule the blood test and I also have a bunch of questions (since I wasn't there for the ultrasound to ask). For now, I'm impatiently waiting...